Well, Wednesday night was not just a low tire! It was more. I got gas and blew up my tire… No not as in blowing it up to smithereens but rather I put air in the tire. I had to pay 1.00 for the air. I was at a creepy truck stop. It was dark where I was putting in the air and of course I didn’t have the wonderful gadget in my glove box… I can only think of my 13-year-old son now and that he has found a very different use for it because if anything sits around too long and it does not seem that we use it for what it was purposes to be used for well let’s just say he creates different uses for them. A story for another time that makes me thankful at times that Kodiak can’t do what he does…
Anyway. I called my dad to have him on the phone while I struggled with the cold windy winter air and the stupid air compressor. My dad “you had to pay a $1.00? I would go somewhere else!” “We’ll dad I’m very sorry but this is where I got gas. I was low on fuel as well. Oh! And according to this pump the $1.00 goes to feed starving children!” We both laughed. Really? Like $1.00 will feed a starving child? I’m sure I was the only one that paid for air there that day and probably all winter!
Ok so on to today. Two days later I’m driving along and though what is wrong with this huge solid FORD EXPEDITION? It really feels sloppy! Suddenly I remembered my rear passenger tire and slowed way down. I have kids I have to get home to. I don’t want a flat and flip and “get dead” as one little friend called it.
I got to my clinic and oh my
Ok! So I ran into work. Punched in and got settled into my day. My co-worker was first to go to lunch and she checked my tire on her way to lunch and texted me it was very low.
Well when I went out after she got b
Ok… So would you attempt to drive on it? Well I did 2 miles to a Quik Trip that had FREE AIR! I pumped it up! Again very cold wind! I had about 50 guys all watching me and I swear laughing! I kicked myself for not asking about my tire gauge or at least picking one up. So I just kept airing it up… I have no idea how much air is in there and tire pressure… The tire is rock solid and I better not hit something or she will blow for sure!
Well. Hard to tell I photos… This experience made me feel very alone! I hate this feeling! I hate being the only one taking care of things. I hate this endless hole in my heart and never-ending pain! No one understands it! So I just keep walking through life with a smile on my face! Because talking about it really smarts! But today it all came smashing back at me like a freight train!
But the thing is I got through the rest of my work day. Got kids supper and went home. I cut Colt’s hair first…. Then Kodiak’s. it’s been awhile that he has sat so nicely… And his hair was long. But I hate it too short because then your really notice his disfiguring disabilities. Anyway! He actually sat the whole time and didn’t giggle and wiggle. I got it shorter and the whole thing this time… It’s been a very long time. Then he got his bath!
I will post photos tomorrow. I couldn’t take any because. My iPhone was dying and he was so sweet to me. We were on the couch and he cuddled up to me and held my face in his hands and patted me on the head. Then he put his forehead up too mine and fell asleep. I love this kid. He held my hand as I signed “I love you” and he giggled! Thank you Kodiak!
And thank you Symone and Colten for the hugs too! It makes this day so much better! The whole is still in my tire! Just like my heart! But when I’m with my kids it’s a little less alone!